Kundalini arising is an invitation, truly a doorway, into knowing what you
are, and realizing or remembering the true nature of existence. This is why the energy is called
divine. It is the energy of the
source of life that enabled you to exist as part of creation, and when it
activates it is possible for consciousness to shift in such a way that it recognizes
its true nature. It shows you that you are not the thoughts in your head, and patterns in your
life that you previously identified with.
Some people have a glimpse of the infinite, the truth that consciousness exists beyond any
boundary, long before they have a kundalini arising. They are given a hint about who they are. It may change their life, or it may pass through as simply an unusual moment, never forgotten but never taken to heart. But most people seem to have the arising of this energy of
the life force known as kundalini, prior to the awakening of consciousness. It supports them in
becoming Self-realized. It invites them into awareness of the infinite.
Naturally kundalini energy is frightening to the mind of
many people, because it challenges our belief in the uniqueness of our own
identity, and it is beyond the
understanding and the cultural
perspective of the mind. It feels sometimes as if you are losing
your mind and your understanding
of who you are, it disrupts and reorganizes your energy field, and it may even
cause physical discomfort as it moves through areas of your body that have
latent physical issues or stored
emotional content. It can look and feel "weird" and if the body has
experienced physical or sexual abuse, or traumatic emotional and physical
events, it can cause the release of the old memories and sensations held in the contracted
energy field. So for some people
this awakening is a more challenging event than for others.
You might think of kundalini awakening as a clearing process
that is designed to enable an open, clear and compassionate perspective of life
and death, and to feel the essential bliss and connectedness of all
things. In some people it also powerfully opens the heart to love. For these transformations to happen all the
thoughts, points of view, memories and stored traumas in the body need to be
released. You cannot do this yourself. It is done through you by the energy,
in its own timing. If you
have done clearing through therapy or body work in the past this can be useful,
because there is less "stuckness" in the old conditions and more
acceptance of letting things go.
And usually with therapy one learns to release self-judgement, which is
an important prerequisite in this process of awakening to what you really are.
Our true nature has no judgment and no resistance to life.
Waking up is not an abandonment of life as it is, but an expansion, so that
consciousness sees the inner-connectedness, the oneness, underneath all the
diversity of expression in the world. Without judgment there is still a responsiveness, a deep
feeling can move through related to compassion for the suffering in the human
condition, and action can emerge spontaneously, the form having great
variations among different people. Great laughter and joy can arise in seeing clearing how we
have missed the truth for so many years ,and ignored the clear evidence of our
own eternal consciousness. Even in the joy we can still feel strong compassion
for the confusion that all humanity shares.
Unfortunately, not everyone who awakens kundalini will
awaken to Truth. There are many
cul-de-sacs in the process caused by cultural and community biases and
ignorance of the process, fear of the unknown (which one must enter without
reservation at some point), the tendency to regress into self-doubt, or
attachment to old patterns of being that are not released. One needs to learn to listen to their
deepest inner truth, to take care of their physical and emotional needs, to
surrender completely to the energy flow, to be willing to love unconditionally
-- one is invited into many experiences the mind might resist. Some people feel like they may be
losing their sanity or even their life. There are many fear-based stories about kundalini
which sometimes amplify these doubts and fears. And there are risks to health if one is pushing the process, continues using recreational
drugs, or ignores basic health habits.
It helps to have some objective support and guidance in case you become
inflated, disoriented or overwhelmed by emotional shifts. (all of which may
happen for limited periods of time). It helps to have a spiritual orientation
and basic self-respect and love.
Some people are concerned because their financial situation
does not support them and they feel unable to work. It is helpful if one has a lifestyle and workstyle that are
compatible for their spiritual life, that sustains them through these
transitional times. If this is not
available they can only seek inner wisdom to find a way through life support by
using available food pantries and community dinners, volunteering service in a meaningful way, living in yogic communities, or
returning to families for help. In
most cases if one is unable to hold their regular job, a small amount of work
that feels aligned with one's true capacity is helpful. The body/mind will benefit from some
kind of focus and balance during this awakening. This is not about abandoning the body/mind or the personal
life you have been given, only giving up identification with it as
"all" you are. You are still obligated to care for it.
Poverty during a kundalini process may be no worse than
poverty for a myriad of other reasons.
For hundreds of years Zen
monks who sought awakening chose poverty, although they were in a community
that respected this option and helped to feed them. I cannot say why one person
is thrown into this situation and others are not -- some might say it was a
choice from a previous life, or a piece of karma to be finished, or a teaching
about a certain perspective of life, or a pattern or belief that needs to be
relinquished. It may be caused by
apparent outside circumstances, (all of us can find societal reasons), or for psychological reasons, but it
is your mind that attaches a personal meaning to it.
I was once in a workshop with a nurse who reported a very
traumatic childhood including early rape and pregnancy, prostitution, drug addiction and living
on the streets before her world shifted in her twenties and she was able to move into school and a
career. As I felt into the trauma
of that life and youth what I saw was that she went through that so that I
would not have to. Each of us
fills a spot in a massive and eternal mosaic of life experience. There is no ultimate reason or why explaining
why some have such difficulties -- it is just so. Humanity is still in an evolutionary stage, and has not yet
embraced unilateral kindness and health.
There is suffering and we all are part of it. Waking up will only make it better. Kundalini arising, and its greatest gift, a clear perception of the nature of
existence and the releasing of our identification with thoughts that cause
suffering will, as the Buddha
said, wake up the world (a piece at a time).
If you are
truly in this process it will not let you go (although you can resist
endlessly) and keep inviting you into your deepest potential for knowing Truth.